Just one week.
At the end of each week I sit and reflect back. I am amazed at the multitude of images that pass through my mind. My consciousness is flooded with so many events. The people I made contact with, the things I said and heard, the time spent driving in my car and the words from the radio. I can barely take it all in. It could take days or even weeks to integrate the experiences of JUST ONE WEEK. When I look back, I see things that I did not see at the time and I wonder if I was really there.
This practice of staying present is not easy. I can understand why the monks need years alone in a cave. I try to find one day a week where I can be by myself. Hiking alone in the mountains is a big help. It gives me time and space to let my mind move. Sometimes it is uncomfortable to hear myself say the things I said. And so I hike faster. It is the same on my cushion. When it gets uncomfortable, when I hear something that scares me, I want to fidget and itch and look at the clock. But I try not to. I try to stay still and let the experience change. To feel what’s there. What did happen? More importantly, what is happening now?